It’s funny how when you’re descending into selflessness you end up having very little to say because you actually don’t care about self. You just are, I just am, it just is. It gets boring when you write or read about it I assume, because there’s nothing controversial to it, no friction, no real statement other than the non-dualistic approach to life that all simply is for the sake of being. The only refreshing thing about it is the sensation it leaves on the body, like a fresh breeze or a waveless wave of stillness, gratitude and peace.
It’s the quiet after the storm that feels calming and nurturing, not the one before. When you have been able to hold yourself through all of it, the waving and rocking of the e-motions and reopening of past wounds that haven’t healed yet. When you’ve created a container of love for all of it in which all of you is welcomed and all of you is safe. When you manage to dis-identify from your pain and are able to let it move through you without dissociating, that’s when you’re at where I’m at right now. On the same page. This is to say that no matter if we are or if we aren’t, there’s no point in judging any of it. A book is only a book with all the different pages combined.
In fact the point of judging itself is utterly useless when it comes to healing. Judgement interferes with the natural state of healing that we are always in. Meaning that we are always healing unless we consciously or unconsciously choose to mess with it. Don’t mess with it. Let the river run.
This is so important to innerstand in a world where everyone’s looking for the higher, greater, faster, bigger way of getting anywhere. There is no such thing in healing. The contrary is the case: The more you interfere with the natural flow of life/healing by learning more tools, practicing more affirmations, doing more shadow-work, more yoga or breath-work or whatever it is, the less you are actually healing.
Healing is our natural state of being. It is not something to achieve, that’s not how it works. And I’m not suggesting you abandon all your beautiful routines and practices, I’m suggesting you take the pressure out of them. Stop thinking of wholesomeness as some kind of destination or place in the future where you will be at peace with yourself because I guarantee you, you will not find it there.
That’s why so many of the great teachings suggest that all is here, all is NOW. Yes, because life is essentially one moment of eternity perceived through time by us - and what does that mean? It means that we are already whole despite the wounds we still carry, despite the parts that haven’t fully healed. You think one day they will all just have disappeared? They won’t.
Learning to live a life in peace with yourself is about becoming the container of love for all of you. Not trying to make any of it go away. Where is it supposed to go? Be kind and gentle with yourself, healing is what’s happening anyways. With time you naturally will feel more complete, more at ease. And if you can’t be compassionate, just notice it. If you judge it, I suggest you take another step back. Look at yourself judging, observe it. Ground yourself in the body because the body is always now, connected to earth and to source. It is the intermediary instrument ready to do the work for you. Arrive in it. Nurture it, own it. It is your vehicle, it is your vessel of love. Allow yourself to rest in it and just observe. Simply observe. No need for any of your doing. Just be with what’s coming up for you. You don’t even need to name it.
The two ways in wich we are continuously postponing our healing are either by drifting too far into false light: Meaning we constantly tell ourselves what beautiful, perfect, shiny shimmering crystals of divine consciousness we are without acknowledging our deeper wounds. We do more self-love rituals, more so-called „healing“ work, plant medicines, affirmations, etc. you name it - without being present with what’s actually coming to the surface. Or the other way around where we also do more work, but drifting too far into the shadowy realms: Meaning trauma-based work, constantly checking in with how we’re being triggered and why, feeling the need to process everything together or alone, over-sharing on everything we observe within ourselves, constantly questioning where what is coming from and how to „better“ heal/deal with it. A category in which I myself likely tended to fall. None of it is bad in and of itself but in both scenarios we’re implementing judgement. Either we’re ignoring the shadow or we’re ignoring the light.
„The key to healing is to create enough space within yourself for all of it to simply be there, held in the presence of your awareness. Held in the presence of compassion, of love.“
Create enough space for yourself so you can breathe life in fully and actually en-joy all of it. There’s nothing wrong with feeling „bad“, even devastated, frustrated or lonely, anxious, angry or without orientation and inner guidance. Those motions just are. They are great indicators actually. Once you truly innerstand that, you are free to actually hold space for them. Allow them to be there - so what? Let them exist. You are none of it. You are simply the container of love for all of it to exist and you are gifted awareness and a physical body to experience it. Without judgement or interference. Without wanting it to be different. Just observe. Dis-identify while staying in the body. And realize how by shifting your perception, your whole experience begins to shift. Suffering is nothing to avoid or even be afraid of. It turns out to be this beautiful ride where you know the moment you truly trust it and let it take you on a journey, it becomes effortless. It becomes the gateway to more light, more love and laughter, more trust and generosity within yourself and the world surrounding you. Surrender to its mystery by simply trusting it and let go of desperately trying to control the outcome of any given situation.
You don’t need to become the healer, life is already healing, love IS the healer. You are just here to watch, to enjoy, to trust and to surrender enough for all of it to happen through you effortlessly. Don’t try to own it, don’t ever claim it. Let it claim you. Allow divine consciousness to use you as a vessel for love, a vessel for healing. Not just for yourself but for the collective, for all that has come before us and all that is yet to come. Make space for it. Allow it to simply exist and watch how it transforms without any of your doing. There’s no need for our „doing“. All healing truly needs is the space we make for it. That’s all.
Life is meant to be en-joyed, despite all the ways in which it’s beautiful to become more conscious of oneself. It’s also beautiful to allow everything to be exactly as it is and be okay with it. The body is a compass, it teaches us so much if only we agree to listen to what it has to say. Learn its language gently and with ease. Allow it. It’s here for you. For all of you.