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Jaguar Womban

I met my higher self again. It’s been a while since I last saw her physically on the astral plane. She has been replaced with spirit animals lately that I seemed to somehow trust more than the imagery of my own self. Me only taller, wiser, with long hair and coated in something like a jaguar hat, if that makes sense. It doesn’t have to make sense at all actually. This is just for me. For me and for her...

I didn’t come here to be nice, I came here to be real. I came here to be me. Just like every single one of us. We all came here to be real, to be ourselves, to bring our uniqueness. And speak from the heart, manifest through the heart. But that doesn’t mean watering down Truth for what we believe someone else needs or doesn’t need to hear. THIS is manipulative, this is wrong. This is actually not for us to decide and we believe we’re doing it for the other person. We are not. We are doing it because we are scared. Scared to be rejected or scared to hurt someone. But this is not what it’s about, if we’re being rejected or not, it doesn’t matter at all. At all.

What matters is that we are being real. That we are being honest with each other. And speak through the heart, always. Cultivate body awareness first so you know what I’m talking about. This is not some sort of „soul language“, this is very simple down-to-earth embodiment. Know your body. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. All-in-one. Know thyself, not just the mind. Know all of you.

Get to know it by cultivating the necessary awareness by simply practicing it. It’s just like exercising a muscle. Exercise awareness. Where am I in the body right now? Are you even in the body? Maybe you’re standing next to yourself. Notice it. Just notice. And please, no judgment.

This is also not some pseudo spiritual blabla statement. I literally mean it: do not judge yourself. It is very harmful and the effects of it are huge. This has nothing to do with needing to be hard on yourself in order to evolve — bullshit. You are manipulating your natural healing and self-growth big time by judging where you’re at and what you do. Also: it is natural and everybody does it. This is how society functions, how we all have been raised. If we wouldn’t judge ourselves and wouldn’t be able to be judged by society so easily, this society wouldn’t even exist. It couldn’t. It simply wouldn’t. We couldn’t be controlled.

And contrary to what most people believe: It wouldn’t be such a bad place to begin with. Yes, judgement is necessary for learning, for understanding, for not making the same „mistakes“ over and over again. For knowing where you’re at — judgement is a great part of honesty and I appreciate it very much for that. But with kindness, with gentleness, with heart. Judgement can be harsh and still be right. But not when you’re coming from a hurt place and are forcefully directing it towards yourself or another.

That’s a misuse of judgement actually and it is very, very harmful. Especially in ways we are constantly directing it inwards. No good can come from it. All we are doing is postponing our healing, our natural flow of being…

„Replace judgement with curiosity. It is the key. Don’t judge your judgement, don’t condemn it, call it out. Listen to it through the heart, with kindness, with curiosity. What is it telling you? What’s the teaching? Use the energy correctly, allow it to fulfill its true purpose. Judgement has a calling and it is not to condemn you. It is not to hurt you or anyone else. It is here to teach you something so you can evolve.“

That’s literally all that life is about. Evolve into higher consciousness, evolve back into oneness, into wholesomeness, integrity, into silence, where we came from. Don’t judge yourself. There is literally no point in it unless you do it with an open heart. Trust me on this one. Feel into your body, feel into how it feels to absorb this Truth. You are perfectly right where you are at what ever it may be you’re experiencing. There’s no such thing as tapping in and out of alignment, this is such bullshit. Another one of those pseudo-spiritual dis-eases. As if an emotional high was somehow better than an emotional low. What a story. What a fairy-tale.

Life, enlightenment - it’s about all of it. The good and „bad“, the dark and the light. People are going to say what ever about it, which always says more about them than it says about you. Don’t listen to people, don’t listen to me. Listen to yourself, to your own inner guidance. Learn to identify it and see all the different voices for what they are. No-one is there to punish you. Those protector-parts, they, too served a purpose once. They might have just lost track of it, might have gotten a bit out of hand. How do they re-„align“? Maybe ask them. Ask them what is it that they need? Be kind to them. It is the key. It really is.

It’s gotten so incredibly quiet inside my mind since I stopped judging all the different parts of me, running wild inside my head. Telling me I should be more of this or that. How tiring. Literally. Now there’s no-one actually there. Very rarely do I hear a voice that is not my higher self speaking to me. And always, always it makes me curious. Oh, who’s there? Another sweet little piece of the puzzle I haven’t yet integrated. Another sweet little part of me that longs to reunite with me. How sweet, what an honor actually. Thank you for being there, thank you for being so brave you’re actually showing up, wanting to be seen and ready to be witnessed by me. I am so proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

This is how the universe works, I did not invent it. The universe just says „yes“. No matter what you say. It just says „yes“. I might say: „I am so lovable“ and the universe will prove me right. I might believe: „nobody loves me“ and the universe WILL prove me right. It will show me exactly what I believe because that is how it works. It is a mirror of our consciousness, of our belief-systems, of you. Of what you consciously and unconsciously hold to be your truth. And that’s both beautiful and sad. It is what you make it really. Really, really — it just is. But anyways…

Allow yourself to be, allow all of you. That is my message. And it doesn’t mean you should scream at your partner when ever you’re angry. Clean up your shit, please. Notice when you are being triggered because it is most likely your own trauma wanting to be healed — so feel through it, work through it yourself and then show up again. Bring your feelings but know your shit and please take care of it. This is about discernment, know what is what. And how do you know? Well you just find out. You experiment and you fall and you get up again. Get yourself a partner that does the same work, it doesn’t have to be in the same way but let them do their work and let them be honest with you. Allow yourself to be honest with them and mostly, mostly always with yourself. This is what it means to know thyself. Know thyself. Get to know thyself. And it's not a command, it is an invitation. There is a lot of fire in my words but this is just what gets it going.

Fire is life, light, movement, aliveness. Readiness. Are you ready? Ready to shed skins, to shed your masks because I feel oh so fucking ready to strip you of the last remaining bits of it — if you are ready for it, too. And honestly, if you’re not ready to look Truth in the eye, don’t come near me anytime soon. I won’t hold Truth back, I am committed to it more than I ever was. More than any of you have ever known me. I am shedding my own masks and I’m not afraid to be rejected. I am unafraid to look darkness in the eye because I have done it so deeply and I have survived things you don’t even want to imagine exist. It took me a while to lick my wounds but I am back now and I am stronger than I ever was. Stronger than I ever knew I could be. Stronger than I ever knew anyone could be.

So if I might lose some friends along the way, I’m not even sorry, I have greater losses to grieve. All that matters now is Truth. And if we would all get it, I mean truly get it… Wow, what a future we could create. This ripple-effect of miracles, only some rare human beings can grasp. How prosperous, how incredibly precious. We are supposed to bring heaven on earth, you know that? I’m sure you do, you might have just forgotten. This isn’t hell. It is what we make it. And only what we make it.

This is all dreamed up, you know. Which doesn’t mean it isn’t real. What it means is, reality is incredibly mandible. Inconceivably mandible. And it’s all up to us if we get it and what we’re going to do about it. I mean are we actually going to start to play? Or are we just waiting around for it to be over and done with so we can go home. This is home now. Take it or leave it but you cannot escape earth, you cannot escape reality. You’re done when you are done, not when you think you’ve had enough.

So play with me for fucks sake. Start to see life for what it truly is. It’s a miracle. It’s a masterpiece. We just don’t get it. But it truly, truly is. And heaven is here now. There’s no event in the future that will give you what the present moment hasn’t already presented to you. The present. Do you get it? It is the gift. Moment to moment. Moment by moment unfolding. Presence. Miracles. Miracles. For you. Right here. Right now. Always. Always. Always.

This has nothing to do with emotions. I’ve said it before, e-motions are just energy in motion, they don’t even have a direct relationship with Truth. They are just here to help us heal and to allow us the experience of the richness of sensation in the human form. Truth is beyond emotion. Truth doesn’t care about emotion. Truth just came here to be. Just like you just came here to be. Not to be some false mirage copy of a version of you or someone else you think is going to be liked. Life is not about that. If you’re still trying to be liked by other people you are completely missing the point. And again, no judgment, mere re-direction. Be yourself and you are being love-d. Be an image that is trying to fit into another image and this is exactly what you’ll get. Like I said, the universe is just going to say „yes“.

So choose your path, choose your judgements and your thoughts wisely and with care. Be curious for what wants to come alive through you. It might start a bit chaotic, it might be very disorienting. Trust it. Even though you might not see the end of the road. Even if there is no end. Learn to trust yourself is what I really wish to say. Learn to trust and follow your intuition. Don’t follow your conditioned thoughts and beliefs about how you are supposed to be. Allow them to be there, they will cease gently and with ease once they fulfilled their purpose and went full circle. Until then allow them but allow other voices, too. Slowly they will show their true face, once your container of love is strong enough to hold all of you in it.

And it will be, I promise. Anyone can do it. Otherwise we wouldn’t even be here. You know, we die when we don’t have the capacity to evolve anymore. We just die to be reborn. In a better environment, with more potential for growth. But you’re not dead. You are alive and breathing and this life is for you. This text is for you. This message is for you. Or else you would not receive it.

Learn to trust all of life, really. Not just the shiny shimmering side. Trust darkness, too. It’s not here to harm you. It’s here to teach you. To help you shed skins and masks and rid you of all that doesn’t serve your growth and unfolding.


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